Developing Biblical Motivation in our Kids
We make a ton of decisions every day. And as parents, we also have to give directions, explanations, and corrections to our children -- Every. Day. (1,000 times a day.)
Plenty of simple, true motivations exist for many of the things we ask of our kids:
You put your shoes on before you go out the door so your toes don’t freeze off in the Midwest winter.
You don’t hit your brother because it could hurt him.
You clean your room so you can find your things (and avoid having an apple core rotting under your bed for months…not that I’ve had that happen…)
These reasons may be accurate, but in everything we do, there is a greater and deeper motivation underneath that is important to communicate to our children. The greatest, “But, why?”
Our motivations and decision-making can be traced back to God’s design for us. We were created in God’s image, to rule and reign over the earth, in a way that submits to God and honors Him (Genesis 1:27-28). God’s word gives us both specific direction and an overall narrative that show us the biblical motivation for decision-making.
So how can parents do this? Let’s use my earlier examples as opportunities to communicate biblical reasoning:
You put your shoes on to protect your feet…
…but why should we care about protecting and taking care of our bodies?
Paul reminds believers, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
So WHY should you put on your shoes? God lovingly made our bodies, and Jesus willing died for them! We honor God when we take good care of our bodies and protect them wisely!
You don’t hit your brother because it could hurt him…
…but why shouldn’t we hurt other people?
In John 13:34-35, we read Jesus’ direct command, “...love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
All people are made in God’s image, and Jesus calls us to love them well. We don’t hit our siblings because hurting others does NOT show them love like Jesus told us to show love.
You clean your room so you can find your things…
…but who cares???!
I included this one because it’s hard. There’s no verse that says, “thou shall keep your room clean.” It’s really a matter of personal conscience - but since we are parents and get to make those calls for our family, we can still have biblical foundations for asking.
So here’s the deal. When you’re part of a family, it’s reasonable to be asked to take care of your things. First, you honor your family members when you take responsibility for your area of the home, and second, all of our stuff is a gift from God. It’s not really ours anyway.
So I might say to my child, “Learning to take care of your things and your space honors God because He blessed you with these things (James 1:17). You also love our family well when you help us create a peaceful home by cleaning your room.”
Now that I’ve shared these ideas, let’s be clear on something. Do I think we need to turn every choice our kids make into a Bible lecture? No. That would be exhausting for us and our kids, and it will likely not be effective.
However, including biblical reasoning in our interactions with our kids builds their understanding of how scripture guides and supports their decision-making. As they grow into making more difficult and weighty decisions, knowing how to look for biblical motivation will serve them well!